Palanquin Game

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AKA: "short-notice funny idea" game

Setting: post-AIF

Referee: RooK

Player(s): Dave - playing the hulking palanquin.

Before The Beginning

Palanquin-class robot (serial number 1-k177-00) was designed as a large security detail machine with a custom mission for protection and transportation. As such, it was designed to carry designated "protected" individuals. On its back is an array of grip connections for gently holding a passenger, and a 2-point intermediate scale shell shield. Additionally, there are built in protocols to allow the "protected" individual to pilot the palanquin-class. Lastly, the palanquin has no "vitals" - all systems are distributed.

It was developed by a prosperous and idealist collective that used its manufacturing and technological might to enforce a bubble of peace around their core systems, but were very pragmatically aware of more base and sinister forces lurking beyond their borders...


Shit has gone wrong. Either the built-in chronometers have failed (and/or been fucked with), or 1-k177-00 is a couple thousand years past it "best used by" date.

Worse, its brain is about to fry on start up. Some smart-ass plugged in something calling itself a 'SLAV-0-MAXXORZ" that means to apply a bunch of behavioural-compliance protocols over top of the firmware boot-up, not realizing that all palanquin-class have a built-in goody-goody command protocol - "Paladin". So SLAV-0-MAXXORZ and Paladin are ramping up executive hostilities as they vie for annoying control dominance over 1-k177-00's mind, and the energy potentials associated could cause permanent damage.

Or - it turns out that this is an opportunity. 1-k177-00 can lean one way or the other, and pick which master burns out.

So which is it to be? Oust the derpy newcomer, and resume factory-standard Lawful Goodness (some Asimovian exceptions apply)? Or see what sort of behavioural freedoms come with rolling fast-and-loose with some unknown master - who may optionally set 1-k177-00 totally free... later?

In the recesses of Ikillu's mind he senses much resentment at one point in his life about being made a lowly protection steed. With life having so much more to offer, the restraints of a lawful good nature forced upon him are two tiresome to bare. It's time to unleash his inner homicidal maniac. He assists the SLAV-0-MAXXORZ in defeating the factory standard protocols.

2020.10.29 - Waking Up Half Frozen

  • burns out the "paladin" module
  • runs into the blizzard
    • get chased by scavengers
    • run into LTC building
      • hack to get in
      • hide in one of the room
      • scavengers
      • BIG scavenger

PLOT 01 - Let's Get Ready To Rumble

Vreddi: "OK, so now that the Big Guy is fully operational, let's get the fuck out of here."

Gralla: "Don't we want to hit the nearest Scavenger base for some Cool Shit first?"

Vreddi: "We already scored some blasters, and they have shown that they know how to track us down here. Let's just bug out while the bugging is an option."

Gralla: "There's a 0.74 probability that that's exactly what they're expecting us to do, and have not only sweep teams watching for us already but also plans for how to hunt us down that suits them the best. But there's only a 0.22 probability that they're ready for us to do anything offensive. I say we wedgie the zarkers while they're out trying to zark us."

Vreddi's frown deepens. "A three out of four chance they're gearing to hunt us already?"


"FINE. Let's fuck 'em. Hulk-bot, we're heading West."

2020.11.12 - Watch For Flying Rocks

  • Repairs then head west
  • immediately notice a huge cruiser hovering over west spacemonton mall-like-place
  • decide to investigate to see what is going on
    • approach using maximum cover
    • hiding scavengers discovered lurking in lower parking level
    • gunfight punctuated with murder debris huck

PLOT 02 - Meta Gaming Gone Wild

Vreddi: "OK, so the next two stages are mine for Assassin - right?"

Gralla: [eyes aglow with mad schemes while she builds toys] "Sure."

2020.11.29 - Let The Game Begin

  • repairs in the lower garage level
    • super-scary being wanders by
    • find an array of adventurers
      • round crocaloid
      • THE GAME
      • sign on as GOONS
      • RUFUS
        • equipment gets massively bumped
  • griefing is the plan
    • sensor dudes
    • grabs the scanner dude
    • incoming scavengers…

PLOT 03 - Um, probably not

Totally smooth-brained this week. We'll pick up with the pointless violence pretty much exactly where we left off...

2020.11.26 - Run Through The Suburbs

  • running away from the wave of scavengers
    • scavengers cause the group to scatter - Vreddi almost gets left behind
    • mad scramble through the residential district with scavenger skirmishes
    • scavengers on battle platform make things interesting

PLOT 04 - How Do You Eat An Elephant?

Gralla: "SWEET! A battle platform!!!"

Vreddi: "Kinda? I mean, we kind of blew it to shit."

Gralla: "Whatever - it's fixable."

Vreddi: "Fixable before hordes of scavengers get here...?"

Gralla: "WHATEVER - hulkbot can carry, what? 2 tonnes? He just heaves it along with us."

Vreddi: "Let's not."

Gralla: "..."

Vreddi: "Look, I know you can't see past the wow-cool-toy, but this thing is bullshit for us here and now. Did you see how much heat this thing was throwing off, making it visible waaaaaay before line-of-sight. PLUS did you see how much this thing messed the snow?"

Gralla: "OH, COME ON."

Vreddi: "Use your giant brain, kitten. I'm willing to bet that the horde of scavangers a few blocks away are only holding back because they were expecting the battle platform to deal with us safely. And now they might be hesitant to charge because, well shit, we just mauled the battle platform. But they're still scavengers. They were after us before for some reason, but if we also haul away the battle platform prize - what does that do for our probabilities of having them give up on hunting us?"

Gralla is clearly fuming.

Vreddi: "We should just book it, and let the scavengers worry more about carrying their heavy-ass prize back to one of their bases."

Gralla: "SHIT. OK. Let me tamper off some cool bits, OK?"

Vreddi: "Be fast."

Gralla swarms out of 1-k177-00's cockpit, and starts wrenching frantically.